This isn't funny this week. Make it funnier. I liked last weeks a lot.

At the beginning of the 2008 academic year, Stanford's Endowment Fund had reached 17.2 billion dollars. Of this amount, 9.9 percent of this combined funds were restricted for undergraduate aid and scholarship; 11.6 percent for graduate aid and scholarship; and 0.4 percent for other student aid. The total value of this fund restricted for student aid amounted to [17.2 × (.116+.099+0.004)] 3.77 billion dollars. The merged pool return on Stanford's investment have amounted to 16.37 percent since 1997. Using this rate of return on on the part of Stanford's 2008 Endowment Fund restricted to student aid, 3.77 billion dollars, yields 620 million dollars of earned income restricted to student aid/scholarship for the year 2008. This is 48,485 dollars per academic student at Stanford for the academic year 2008. This amount could pay full tuition, books, and fees for every graduate and undergraduate student at Stanford for the 2008 academic year.
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In the academic year 2007, Stanford spent from its endowment 95 million dollars in graduate grants and stipends, or 11,505 dollar per graduate student. In the same year it spent 76 million dollars in undergraduate grants and student aid, or 11,244 dollars per undergraduate student. Target payout for FY 2008 is 5.5 percent for Stanford's Endowment Fund. This amounts to (17.2 × .055) 946 million dollars. Of this amount, 21.9 percent is restricted for graduate and undergraduate aid, or 207 million dollars.
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Remember, Stanford is expected to earn 620 million dollars from restricted endowment earnings in 2008, while their projected payout is only 207 million dollars out of the restricted endowment funds for scholarship use. The money that they do not spend on scholarship does not go back into the restricted portion of their endowment fund, but goes into the unrestricted portion of their endowment fund—that portion of the fund that is used to pay general university expenses after all restricted payments have been paid out. In 2007 this unrestricted asset pool increased by 2.958 billion dollars in 2007. Paying an extra 400 million dollars toward student scholarship from this unrestricted pool is within Stanford's financial reach. Paying an extra 400 million dollars toward student aid and scholarship is within Havard University's reach as well. These endowment funds are large enough to make Stanford and Harvard third world governments, and there is no representation of students in their boardroom meetings. Student have a 21.9 percent stake in Stanford's endowment fund, but they have no voice or representation over how this money is to be spent.
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When the line between a nonprofit organization and a very profitable organization is blurry, the distinction between a university and a teaching academy also becomes blurry. A teaching academy is a for profit organization—for profit organizations should be taxed at the corporate rate. Stanford showed a profit of 250 million dollars in 2007. This means that they underspend their budget by 250 million dollars. This is 250 million dollars that could have been spend on scholarship. This is money that could have saved a million lives in the world. This is what nonprofit organizations do, they spend money on the needy, and in an university setting, they spend money on the needy and the scholarly. They don't horde their investments returns in a golden pot called an endowment fund and become financial politicians for the wealthy and the political influential. An unregulated, untaxed non-profit organization is a communist party breeding ground for crime, corruption, and greed.
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Stanford's Merged Pool investment returns for 2007 was 23.4 percent. The average figure of 16.37 percent that I used for illustration purposes is a conservative figure.