After two weeks of the Olympics, it’s time to let the glamour and spectacle die down and move on to more important things: what actually happened in Beijing. So take a seat and break open the 2008 Abridged Olympic Dictionary: a comprehensive guide to (almost) everything Olympic.

Heartbreak: Lolo Jones. It only took a few centimeters for the gold medal to slip out of her hands as she hit the ninth hurdle. Visibly distraught as she crumbled after the finish line, Jones showed a lot of integrity in accepting her disappointing seventh-place finish.

Flop: The United States 4x100m relay teams. Maybe they should go back to the old Superglue trick to help them hold onto the baton.

Success: Michael Phelps. He dominated the Games in winning a record eight gold medals. He is an unquestionably deserving champion.

Memorable: The guy who “ran” around the Bird’s Nest at the Opening Ceremonies before he lit the torch. Now that was something special.

Boring: The men’s and women’s marathons. Did NBC have nothing better to show so that we had to watch almost the entire two-hour race?

Questionable: Usain Bolt. Come on, you know this question is going to be asked for years to come. I would love for the man to be clean, but his performances may have been too good.

Sick: Looks sickening, that is. I’m talking about those fried scorpions they kept showing at the Chinese markets. Fried scorpions? Really?

Too Long: The eight years between USA men’s basketball’s gold medals. How is it possible that those guys ever lost a game?

Short: Shawn Johnson.

Enough: I can’t be the only one who is sick of Michael Phelps’ mother. Enough with the human interest stories and back to the events, please.

Inspiring: Dara Torres. She is 41 and she was beating 16- and 17-year-olds.

Surprising: The Chinese women’s gymnastics team. Not surprising that they were so successful, but shocking that some people actually believe all of them were at least 16 years old.

Ironic: The fact that medalist Kim Jong-Su was disqualified for using performance enhancing substances — in the 50-meter pistol shooting event. Maybe he just wanted to look buff when he was standing on the medalists’ platform.

Weird: Rhythmic gymnastics. Maybe I’m the weird one for watching more than 30 seconds of it. But really, this is an Olympic sport? I guess the intricacies of the baton twirl still elude me.

Wacky: Kerri Walsh’s wedding ring goes flying over the net and into the sand, prompting a delay to look for it. If the ring were the ball, she would have had a beautiful kill.

Fast: Jason Lezak closing in on France in the final leg of the 4x100m freestyle relay. That race is going to be YouTubed for years to come. Phelps should be giving Lezak some of his endorsement money for pulling that one out for him and keeping the quest for eight alive.

Slow: Everyone not from Jamaica, the United States or Kenya.

Close: The Chinese tried everything to win the medal count, but they still couldn’t quite do it. The U.S. will have its hands full in the future.

Fun: Don’t you think it would be really fun to be an athlete at the Olympics? Who cares what sport it is? Let’s see . . . underwater trap shooting while holding a chicken in 2012, anyone?

Amazing: Phelps’ .01 second victory in the 100-meter butterfly over Milorad Cavic. I got tingles every time I watched a replay. There’s another guy who should get a cut of Phelps’ endorsement contract.

Cool: The Water Cube and the Bird’s Nest. I’ve got to give it up to the Chinese — the venues were pretty awesome.

Unbelievable: The random attack on the family of men’s volleyball coach Hugh McCutcheon. Unexplainable violence and a tragic outcome.

Triumph: The men’s volleyball gold medal. McCutcheon put together a true story of overcoming the worst possible tragedy. It is one of the feel-good stories of this Olympics.

Dull: Breaking a world record in swimming. What used to be revered, hallowed and rare became a sometimes twice-daily occurrence. It’s got to be the new swimsuits.

Defeat: As good as the U.S. softball team is, they only came home with silver and I have never seen a team look so devastated. Rightfully so, as softball is now out of the Olympics.

Athlete: Bryan Clay. The decathlon gold medalist represents the spirit of the Olympic Games better than just about anyone else. Clay is the epitome of athletic prowess.

End: No matter what I have said so far, I still enjoyed watching the Olympics, as I do every four years. The flame has now burned out in Beijing, and it’s now up to London in 2012. For once, this phrase isn’t a cliche: The entire world waits.

Danny Belch and the rest of the nation is going to have to get back to watching events that don’t involve batons . . . or twirling. Email him at dbelch1@stanford.edu.