A little over a month ago, I wrote an article discussing some of the most anticipated finales of this season of television. Now that nearly all of them have aired, we can discuss what happened in them. Mainly, I’ll discuss some of the common themes that I observed in this season’s finales. If you’re behind on your TV viewing, I recommend that you stop reading now, as I will spoil everything for you (and I know people get very testy when season finales are ruined for them, as last year my friend Sarah let out a shriek loud enough to put Stanford’s collective Primal Scream to shame when she learned prematurely that Marissa was fated to die on “The OC”).

Trend #1: Doctors are self-destructive.

On “Scrubs,” perfectly nice (and attractive) Keith proposes to Elliot. J.D. is in the process of mending his relationship with Kim, who is incidentally the mother of his unborn child. How do things end? J.D. ends up in bed with Elliot posing the question of whether or not they are perfect for one another. We are left to wonder if anything naughty follows...

Then, on “Grey’s Anatomy,” nothing went right for anyone (except perhaps Callie, the newly minted Chief Resident, if you ignore the fact that she is a cuckquean — look it up, it’s my new favorite word). George failed his intern exam. Izzie professes her love to George and he doesn’t really respond — an effective “whatever”. McDreamy practically dares Meredith to dump him (and the week before flirted with whom the finale insinuated to be yet — get this — yet another half-sister of Meredith’s). Bailey doesn’t get the chief resident job. Alex decides to profess his love for Eva/Rebecca/Jane Doe, but she’s already gone. Lastly, and most importantly, Burke left Christina at the altar and disappeared (I imagine whether or not he returns depends on whether or not ABC decides to forgive Dr. Homophobia).

Trend #2: Stuff didn’t blow up.

So I haven’t seen any of this season of “24,” but a Television Without Pity summary revealed to me that the Russians called off an attack on some U.S. base somewhere. No bombs. Then, on “Heroes,” Peter Petrelli did not blow up, as he promised us he would for nearly all of the season (and was anybody else less than moved when he went back in time and the dying dude told him that all he needed was love?).

Trend #3: People didn’t get (or passed up) their promotions.

On “The Office,” Michael didn’t get his job at Corporate. Instead, he sweetly defended a strangely, suddenly crazy Jan. This did mean however that when he returned to Scranton he basically pretended that he had forgotten that he had offered his job to poor Dwight. Additionally, Jim passed up the Corporate job because he realized yet again that he kind of, sort of likes Pam. As I already mentioned above, Bailey lost out on the chief resident job to Callie on “Grey’s.” Additionally, McDreamy passed up the Chief of Surgery job that Webber offered him.

(I wish I had the luxury of passing up all of these offers like these characters do. Heck, I wish I had offers to pass up!)

Trend #4: Every favorite that was predicted to win their respective reality show did.

Jordin is the new American Idol. I watched a sum total of 10 minutes of this season of Idol and I was still unsurprised to learn that she had won. Jaslene is the next Top Model. In the words of my roommate’s boyfriend, “She’s the least busted out of all of them.” Jaslene was objectively the prettiest, so she won. Asia is the next Pussycat Doll (no kids, Azia Kim is not the next Pussycat Doll, this is a different Asia). While I was routing for Chelsea — she attended my high school — everyone knew she wasn’t the best dancer. Melissa R. looked too much like the main Pussycat Doll, Nicole something or other (this at least was my hypothesis). This left Asia, whom the judges had clearly been favoring the whole time anyway. No surprises on any of these shows!