“They want something you’re not trained to do, or unwilling to give.”

“The Type A compulsive thing is how you got here! It’s hard to get a grade below a B. Or an A.”

“He was disruptive. That was his role in my class. I actually liked him very much.”

“Being mature seems to be a thing that girls can do.”

“You had your 128 kb of memory, and that was bad news, you were stylin’ then...”

“The equivalent of the big wet teacher kiss...”

“Love them. Or at least pretend you do.”

“Goodbye, Mr. Clippy!”

“Don’t tell Stanford I did that.”

“I’ll show you some pictures with it off...”

“We’re not all rich grad students.”

“One is good, more is better.”

“S.O. does not stand for ‘small package.’”

“You need to know what the package looks like.”

“If I have to make fun of the TAs to keep you all awake, I’m gonna do it.”

“If you can’t see me in DVD quality, there’s just no point.”

“A bird pooped on my bike lock. I’m excited, it’s decorated now. I know it’s mine.”

“I’m pretty geeky, but not geeky enough to have that number memorized. The TAs, on the other hand...”

“My toys are pretty cool, because, you know, I’m a Stanford guy.”

“And that’s really gonna suck, as much as I like turtles.”

“The World Wide Web was not created so you could Facebook friend each other. I know, it’s hard to believe.”

“And I couldn’t live without my Internet, if you know what I mean...”

“He got in my face, and I was like, ‘Wow, too much coffee for one individual.’”

“These are like, kick-your-ass birds.”

“When you meet him, in the first five minutes he’s gonna tell you everything you need to know about Jesus Christ, but after that you’re gonna be OK with him, you know?”

“‘You’re really in deep shit!’ Excuse my language, but that’s what she said. And she’s my spiritual advisor.”

“They’re in French. I hate it when that happens.”

“You’re reincarnated.”

“Oh, I didn’t take that into account.”