“It means by the end of class you should all be useless zombies, but I don’t care about that.”

“Dude, he knows your name!”

“Damn, I can never bring my laptop to class again...”

“People were sterilized for being undergraduates: drinking and promiscuity!”

“As soon as you get past the age of 40 and your back starts hurting, you’ll realize we were not intelligently designed.”

“The Hitler Youth had jamborees with the Boy Scouts... that says a little about Boy Scouts.”

“No one would call Bush the doctor of the American people.”

“That was a fancy way of saying, ‘I have no idea.’”

“I don’t want you hurting yourself on that lip.”

“Just to be fancy and take advantage of all our colored pens here.”

“The table looks a little funny because ‘Stanford’ is so big and ‘Cal’ is so small. Now, some might argue that that’s appropriate, but...”

“I’m going to briefly sketch out.”

“I can’t operate without my computer, that’s all I’m saying.”

“I call this a rental package.”

“Does the instructor know his fly is open?”

“I’m quitting this damn class.”

“I skipped the drain step, so we had Mac-N-Cheese soup. Yeah, it was pretty disgusting. But if you tell a computer to drain, it will drain.”

“Another fine drawing brought to you by the Stanford Computer Science Department.”

“It’s more foreign... That’s not a good word. I probably just pissed off all the international students here. It’s a little more strange...”

“If you feel like that too, it means you’re normal. But don’t throw your computer through a window; I don’t want any parents contacting me.”

“It wouldn’t be appropriate, but we can do it anyway.”

“Infinity. That’s a pretty good batting average.”

“If we were back in kindergarten... wait, when did you guys learn division?”

“There is one little niggle in this, though.”

“After he’s dead, that math the weird guy in your dorm is always muttering about could be the basis of a whole new science.”

“var isCool == “Stanford””