“How embarrassing, I misspelled Stanford. Don’t tell anyone, I’ll get fired.”

“If you mess up grammar, the computer will scoff at you. Like the French guy who says, ‘That is not perfect French; I’m going to pretend I don’t hear you.”

“Don’t tell Stanford about that either.”

“The lecturer’s back was turned, that part was good. But sneak out the back door, guys.”

“Thank you, my very first applause for the quarter.”

“It’s amazing, it’s awesome, there’s my first webpage.”

“Will you guys get as excited as the sixth graders? My guess is no, you guys are old and jaded.”

“I would have to go through and type ‘Harvard’ instead of ‘Stanford,’ and you can bet I’d be weeping as I did it.”

“The computer says, ‘I’m gonna be obstinate about it.’”

“First off, if you write ‘lemon chiffon’ and you’re a guy, your friends will laugh at you.”

“Let’s say I have no taste, and I actually like that color...”

“This kissing ass was wasted because it was anonymous.”

“I discovered some ‘Cheney Creationism’ in that there are more doubts about whether humans share a common ancestor with Dick Cheney than with apes.”

“It could be zero or infinity, and that’s a pretty big difference.”

“He got pissed off at Harvard, so he gave it all to Stanford.”

“It’s kind of an old, pre-DVD metaphor.”

“All children go extinct by becoming adults.”

“We were surrounded by land. And Germans.”

“If it had been ten or twenty dollars I might have bought it, but a million dollars seemed a little steep.”

“There are a lot of dangerous catfish down there.”

“What do these things eat? Whales.”

“I ran over my own phone once . . . It was depressing.”

“It’s a nice game, getting it up without making it fall out.”

“I might be wrong; I’m often wrong.”

“He’s bonking things on the head with his geological hammer left and right.”

“This is Darwin’s post-graduate summer abroad.”

“It was the biggest spurt of coining in science.”