It is my understanding that my last column caused quite the uproar within the undergraduate community. Mayhem reigned in White Plaza: A man was strung up on a bulls-eye and shot at by passersby, a Golden Bear was slaughtered and, at least for a day, we were all walking on eggshells (BTW, I found the $100, but all I really wanted was some junky plastic trinkets!).

For the all the ruckus I caused, I apologize. I just didn’t realize that the 78 percent of you undergrads who were planning on eventually attending law school would, after sipping from my fount of knowledge, abandon the endeavor en masse. It just didn’t occur to me that so many of you take my word as the Gospel, that you see me as the next Google/YouTube/eBay/Hotornot.com (FYI, I’m a 9.3). Well, I stand corrected.

But not to worry young’uns! There are plenty of other amazingly awesome, aberrant things you can do after graduation. Two options off the top of my head:

1: Peace Corps.

All partial satire aside, serving in the Peace Corps was the greatest thing I have done with my life to date. I genuinely feel it is an amazing thing to do for the world, America and yourself.

I’m willing to submit that global poverty gives pause to each and every one of us at least once in a while, our wondrous neo-classical economic ideals notwithstanding. Somehow the glories of free markets have left large swathes of Asia, Africa and Latin America in their dust, and the development policies of institutions such as USAID and the WorldBank have resulted in few of their hoped-for benefits. I’m not saying that the one thing that the developing world needs to start on the right path is you, but a) extreme global poverty is something that it would behoove us all to become engaged with, and b) maybe, just maybe, the missing ingredients in development efforts up until now have been your glowing smile, unerring charisma and boyish (and/or girlish) good looks.

As a Peace Corps volunteer, you’ll also be serving the good ol’ U.S. of A. by engaging in cultural exchange. Probably the best way to dispel myths about life in America and Americans themselves is through example. The people in my village in El Salvador found it harder to despise America and all that it stood for after acknowledging that, over the years, many courageous Americans invested time and effort to help them live better lives.

On the point of personal growth, I’d be lying if I said that the Peace Corps was easy, fun or always rewarding. PC’s motto used to be “The toughest job you’ll ever love,” but, apparently, people were turned away by the thought of doing anything “tough” (the current motto is “Life is Calling. How far will you go?”). As much as I think the experience is worthwhile and incredible, if you are turned off by the idea of being challenged in unexpected and daunting ways, then you should probably focus on option 2 — the Vishnu Internship Program (VIP) Programme, described below.

2: The Vishnu Internship Program (VIP) Programme.

Interested in doing ill-defined and largely inscrutable tasks at the beck and call of a totalitarian, autocratic despot? Delighted by the thought of waking up each morning unsure of why exactly it is that you are wearing a Hanuman costume in impromptu recreations of scenes from the Ramayana? Have the blood of an aging ork warrior coursing through your veins?

Then the VIP Programme may be for you! Just send me a three-to-12 word essay on one (or fewer) of the following topics:

A. If you could get a pedicure from any president, dead or alive, which would it be? (I prefer alive, but feel free to choose otherwise.)

B. If an integer n is greater than 2, then a^n + b^n = c^n has no solutions in non-zero integers a, b, and c. Discuss.

C. How can we keep undergrads from biking through the walkways near the Law School?

For more information on either the Peace Corps or impromptu recreations of scenes from the Ramayana, please contact Vishnu at vishnus@stanford.edu.