“I’m just ... nervous about this. I’ve never been to a less-developed country like Thailand,” I told my friend Marc. “Ziv, I want you to go in there and ROCK ASIA!” he replied. Trying to keep those words close to heart, I boarded my plane for Bangkok last summer, traveling alone, with no plan in place and no place to stay. But when I finally got to my destination, I went into shock: smog, humidity, prostitutes, shirtless Europeans, crusty-eyed baby elephants and shady-looking food carts pushed up next to reeking piles of trash. I didn’t want to rock a damn thing; I just hoped to survive.

Unexpectedly, I flourished in this land of elephants and red chili peppers, and so I would like to propose Thailand as your next travel destination. The landscape is lush, the humid climate is good for your skin and the growth rates are always in the double digits. Getting around is easy: I managed to traverse half of Thailand with $12, one word (my destination) and a Lonely Planet guide. And, as is the case with developing countries, one of the best draws of Thailand is value: clean rooms for $6 per night, meals for $2 and massages for ... well, let’s not go there.

I saw some of the most beautiful — and some of the dirtiest — scenes in Thailand. The place I first came to, the backpackers’ district known as Khao San Road, fits into the dirtier category. Although I cannot recommend spending too much time there, one can get used to it pretty fast, and even come to enjoy it. For the more adventurous, there’s always the sex district in Bangkok, where you can watch women shoot darts out of their vaginas and hit distant balloons with amazing accuracy. Can you see that at Tresidder?

However, there is one place where dirtiness takes a turn for the worse. I urge everyone to avoid the entire island of Phuket, especially the Patong area. Do not be fooled by the tourist pamphlets: there are much nicer islands around. I will admit that my most entertaining stories came from being on that island, but it truly is tourism gone wrong. It feels like being in a town infested by vampires: eerie, but normal-looking during the day, and utter hell by night. Here’s the scene: many squat, square structures squished together amidst garish neon lights, blaring music, with hookers and sex tourists everywhere. Those hookers were indeed attractive, but repulsive at the same time, as if one was on a nasty hallucinogen and suddenly these women morphed into screaming demons. All I wanted to do was hide out in my room, but even that was tough to do, as there were many massage parlors impeding my path to it.

As I said, though, Thailand has some spectacularly beautiful scenery. There is one small, $8 per night private beach resort on the island of Koh Phi Phi (featured in the movie “The Beach”) best described as this: if getting laid that night depended on where you took that special someone, you would have a 120 percent chance at this resort.

If the lack of English and potable water gets you down, swing over to Singapore. It’s an island south of Thailand that’s connected by bridge to the southeastern end of Malaysia. I flew into Singapore expecting a city of ultra-clean high-rises and a tight-lipped populace, the product of a strict police state. Instead, I didn’t see a single police officer, and the people were among the most polite and helpful I’ve ever met, with one guy offering me everything from beautiful Russian women and diamonds to “the good stuff.” The food is amazing, the clothes are cooler than they are here and the public transportation system is so amazing that using anything in the U.S. makes me want to cry. Singapore is like Asia filtered down and purified. It’s more expensive than Thailand, but still a bargain compared to other big cities around the world.

If you do fly off to Thailand and Singapore, and find that the trip isn’t meeting your expectations (like rocking the place), a funny thing may happen. As you board your plane out, glad to be leaving the country and start thinking of all the stories that you will tell your friends back home, at that moment you might come to realize that you have truly rocked Asia.