“Back then, you didn’t have money to pay subjects. You had to marry them.”

“There’s a case with the Bill of Rights nowadays. You can’t do much of anything! My sadistic impulses have been thwarted . . . “

“Science is all about getting there first. Even if you’re doing it to save your grandmother, it doesn’t matter.”

“I have a beard; can you tell? It’s a very historic photo.”

“I lost my cynicism when I came to Stanford University.”

“You need some chapstick, dude?”

“The murmur of your voices is very pleasant. It signifies that you are happy Stanford students. Is there anyone in this room who is unhappy right now? . . . Oh my.”

“A low dose of alcohol . . . of course, you wouldn’t know what that means.”

Powerpoint slide: “Tell anecdote of the National Geographic story: the golf course and the hot day.”

“Unrequited love makes me tired.”

“I’m getting goose-pimples I’m so thrilled. When people remember what you say it’s really great.”

“He woke up? Doggoneit! How do they know? Before I go to my final resting place I’d like to test this out. Does telepathy exist?”

“Was that a belch?”

“This is so profound. Of course, the red color is meaningful also.”

“You have four names. I don’t want to embarrass you, but are you married? You might get another name some day. We could have an interuniversity contest of who has the most names. It’s not illegal to give yourself additional names . . . “

“Fermat’s last theorem is the Paris Hilton of proofs — it’s famous for being famous.”

“I’ll now abandon this attempt and shift forward in time using my prehistoric carpet.”

“I’m a vegetarian, and I like to play squash.”

“Plays it and eats it...”

“This is our first sex talk; let’s not rush through it . . . “