The Subways are the latest in a swarm of bands to ride the coattails of the British rock invasion. Their debut album “Young for Eternity” is aptly named, seeing as two-thirds of the band is under the age of 21. We might excuse them for their youth, but we’d rather save some time and listen to The Arctic Monkeys (also under 21) instead.

TAM: The album opens with the jumpy “I Want to Hear What You’ve Got to Say,” but after attempting to get through the entire album a few times without skipping tracks, I decided I didn’t really want to hear what this band wants to say. This high-energy, youthfully defiant opening track has promise, but it just didn’t sustain my interest. Sounding like Oasis on downers—it just made me feel angsty.

CHRIS: “I Want...” is putting their best foot forward. It’s a catchy song that starts with an acoustic, seemingly defiant, gritty Brit punk-influenced verse about failed love. The lyrics are pretty simple, but then the beat picks up and the song builds into a solid rock tune. For being a high water mark, it’s unfortunately forgettable and hints at the shortcomings of “Young for Eternity.”

TAM: “The O.C.” has already packaged “Rock and Roll Queen” as a radio-friendly single into the show’s fifth soundtrack mix, which has become a rite of passage for any UK band hoping to jump the Atlantic these days.

CHRIS: Tam and I agree we’ve heard it before. The Subways seem to follow the formula that British bands must discuss the “rock-and-roll” lifestyle and sentiments of urban jadedness.

TAM: On a similar note of failed romantic intent, “With You” is fairly sloppy: “My best days are with you / They are so easy / They are so easy” sums up this tune. The syncopation of drums and guitar conjures up both Franz Ferdinand and Foo Fighters, but sloppy songwriting and predictable chord progressions leave the song uninspired. I’ll admit there’s an infectious hook, bolstered by the dual vocals of Lunn and Cooper.

The lyrical blunders of the album continue in “Mary.” The Subways display impeccable rhyming skills, with gems that Dr. Seuss would be proud of, such as “Mary is my best friend / She makes me my tea / She lets me stay around her place / when there’s nowhere else to be.” Unfortunately, this instance of lyrical genius will loop its way into your head, which is a red flag for retardation.

CHRIS: Here’s my dramatic reenactment of how The Subways write a song: “Mary... drinks my tea... uh, what rhymes with tea? TV! Late-ly! Me! Tea again! Perfect! We’re done!” Ironically, if this had been an actual song writing session, the songwriters would be rolling in money while the ghosts of The Clash roll over in their graves and blood shoots out my nose.

TAM: When I heard “She sun” my immediate thought was: “This song would be a lot better if it was titled ‘She-Ra.’

CHRIS: I will start a British band that’s dedicated entirely to Masters of the Universe.

TAM: There are moments where this trio verges on creating something new, where they almost make good on all the hype that’s surrounded them for the past year. You want to like them, you really do. Unfortunately, one of the best moments is in the final two minutes of the penultimate track, “Somewhere,” locked within the frenetic, driving buildup and the song’s unintelligible refrain. This is where they come closest to conveying the youthful spirit that’s absent elsewhere. Ideally, the album would stop here.

CHRIS: The latter half of “Somewhere” is this weirdly haunting, strangely different song from the rest of the album. The chorus(?) of “Nah nah nah” works despite its seeming silliness, and there is a raw energy to it I cannot deny. The first song of this album is decent and there are a couple songs that actually build the guitar riffs and drum beats into solid rock tunes. The problem is these moments of a unique and vibrant sound are almost lost in a sea of forced energy, unoriginal guitars and lazy lyrics. I just didn’t really feel like they wanted to make this album, the band seemed to have to do it as a homework assignment one night. Lunn at one point sings: “I’m so lazy.” It’s perhaps the most honest thing these kids have to say.

SOUNDS LIKE (but doesn-’t come close to): The poor man’s White Stripes, The Arctic Monkeys, The Strokes, The Vines, every band that starts with “The,” and Jet, the band that impersonates every other mediocre garage rock band. But now with female vocals!