By EMMA TROTTER

Facebook Stalker

Killer postcard. It made me laugh at least 3 times, and then I read it again. And then once more just to be sure. We’ll most definitely discuss your new insights into Western Culture.

how is life back on the yeast farm?

Happy Birthday - don’t bleb on the couch!

Sometimes I think I am “gangsta” and regularly wear my all black, Stanford-issued “thug” gear around campus

just because you judge everything that moves doesn’t mean you don’t do everything that moves.

My mother is an intelligent woman. She really is. Somehow, she never saw the irony in calling me “son-of-a-bitch.”

Knowledge is a polite word for dead but not buried imagination.

Parties are overrated. Boys become too stupid to realize the awesomeness in dark-haired girls.

At the least, we can have DDR parties in the lounge!

your body is a wonderland, may I apply for a visa or green card?

I just posted on my own wall. Because obviously I’m egocentric.

well, mirlo still is a peach...

so i guess you’re just lucky cause gerald and i talked about it and decided that since it’s a “tradition”...then there’s no harm. unless he finds some other girl.

i wish i was ur mom...cuz then id be hugging you every second! =)

quantum mechanics (ie my rapist)

because in 4 days I will no longer be able to use “hey babe i go to stanford” as a pickup line....;(((((

be so inspired by a professor that I can finally go “fuck you mom” and major in something amazingly interesting yet useless that guarantees my future as a cardboard-box-inhabitant shooting heroine into my pathetic veins

wear Richard Shaw to Exotic Erotic

buy a floating tent and move into Lake Lag for a day or two

eventually meet every facebook person i have befriended (yeah, i’m gonna be here a whiiiiiiile)

here’s to being at Stanford until i”m 53 and severely crippled by carpal tunnel and other DDR-related afflications!

Hey, baby, wanna form an Otero manwich with me?

Interests: Your V-card

The Stanford Tree always “roots” for the Cardinal.

is chopping down the stanford tree a Cardinal sin? ah ah ah ah... ooooh that’s punny

it’s those french-ish words, you know - like malcontent - god it feels like cheese is being squeezed from my eardrum

I told you the baby’s yours.....why won’t you return my phone calls???

Purple sea urchins?! You’re awesome!

you know, I realized that I haven’t seen you in a while. I actually logged on facebook to tell you that. And now I’m loggin off...

sweet onion dont worry b/c the only opinion that matters is mine...and i think that u are just fine...:)

Wow, you care about way too many political issues.....

quit drunk facebooking me!

I just like weed....can I say that on facebook and not have a man in a suit come to my door and search my paraphernalia....

by the way i dont appreciate you untagging my photos

your shirt turns me on. see you at full moon.

I think he’s really hot but I’m too scared to talk to him. Can you get him drunk for me tonight? He trusts you...

Religious Views: there’s sumthing out there...

Where’s my stuff from your mom???

I heard weird things are going down with you and older men in West Lag...:-P

no you da man.

hi! we’re friends, but i’m not sure we know each other?

“Sometimes when I solve a very difficult math proof, I get really excited and it makes me want to masturbate.”

I think my purity score just went down

Sometimes I talk to myself but only when necessary

so i see that you’re still in palo alto. what’s it like without homework and papers and stress?

Of course I’m going...I wouldn’t miss another photo opp for the facebook!!

You put the tan in sTANford...ahahaha i crack myself up. miss ya.