Boys in shoulder pads not your style?

How about guys in tiaras?

Set to take place Saturday, Nov. 19 at the Regency Center in San Francisco, the 10th Annual Trannyshack Pageant will offer a different breed of competition in contrast to the age-old Stanford-Cal rivalry. A city’s worth of drag queens will battle it out in bathing suit and talent competitions, and the show’s Web site guarantees a display of the human ideal — specifically, “the heavenly highs, the lumbering lows, the dizzying dazzlement, the visceral vortex and ruthless reality.”

But don’t let the glitz and glamour fool you.

As pageant creator and local drag superstar Heklina says, “It was really a contest that I pulled out of my ass.”

The annual contest stems from its weekly counterpart Trannyshack, a Tuesday-night drag show held by the South Market District’s Stud Bar. Both the pageant and the club are MCed by Heklina herself — the 2004 Community grand marshal of the San Francisco gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning parade and a former guest on the Jerry Springer and Ricki Lake shows.

Though Heklina is praised by the Trannyshack Web site for running the club with “unflappable humor,” “sparkling wit” and “an iron heel,” she actually started the club on an irreverent whim.

“Trannyshack was a complete fluke that I began as a lark back in February

1996,” she says. “It was never meant to last more than a couple of months. When it became successful I thought it would be funny to do a pageant.”

Since then, Trannyshack and the annual pageant “have become these huge, larger-than-life things,” she continues. “The Miss Trannyshack Pageant in particular is something people now take so seriously as this huge event.”

As the self-proclaimed “last stop for Bohemian San Francisco,” Trannyshack offers refuge to both cross-dressers and those simply looking for apparel a little more alternative than Urban Outfitters.

According to the San Francisco guide Web site — http://www.posthoc.com — the Trannyshack crowd comprises one-third transvestites and “tranny-chasers (you’ll recognize them by their suits)” and two-thirds “club hipsters.” Club music can be characterized as eclectic or campy, with a practical guarantee of at least “one Dolly Parton song and several 80s hits every week,” the Web site explains.

Besides the actual pageant component, this Saturday’s event will differ from the weekly gatherings in its size and scope.

“The stage at Trannyshack is about the size of a postage stamp,” Heklina explains. “The pageant is the one time every year when we get to perform on a huge stage with lighting, video [and] better sound.”

The pageant will by judged by local celebrities, including adult film director Chi Chi LaRue, drag superstars Fauxnique, Glamamore and Leigh Crow (a.k.a. Elvis Herselvis), as well as Jane Wiedlin and Gina Schock of the 1980s girl group the Go-Go’s.

While there is a bathing suit component to the pageant, it is really the participants’ “gender-bender performance” that will determine who will take home the crown, Heklina says.

“The main thing the contestants will be judged on is their performance in the talent category,” Heklina explains. ----“This is what Trannyshack is all about.”

Though having talent is a must, it is one of few restrictions.

“The conventional drag pageant rules of gender go out the window,” Heklina says. “Drag kings, faux queens and even faux kings (men impersonating drag kings) are all welcome to compete.”

“All that matters is what you do once you get out on that stage,” she adds.

Voted Best Drag Club 2005 by San Francisco Weekly Readers and Best Transsexual Club 2005 by Bay Guardian readers, Trannyshack is “an event that is quintessential San Francisco,” Heklina says. “Words don’t do it justice.”

However, a haiku on the club’s Web site makes a valiant effort:

“i love trannyshack

some get blown, some wear make-up

extravaganza”

10th Annual Miss Trannyshack Pageant 2005

Saturday, November 19

Regency Center

13 Van Ness Street (at Sutter)

Tickets are $20 in advance at http://www.ticketweb.com or $30 at the door